tagged by smartypantsnyc 3 random facts about myself:
1. I really hate bug, I mean REALLY hate bugs. The ones i cannot for the life of me stand are Cockroaches. It's really weird, when i was younger i used to be fascinated by bugs, and would play w/ beetles, and things of that sort. but when i see a big bug, or a roach, or spider, I really want to die. my heart starts racing, and i can't control my breathing.
2. When i was in the first grade, and we were learning how to use a ruler, i COULD NOT grasp the concept of starting w/ zero. we didn't start counting from zero, we started counting from one, so when i measured, the edge of whatever i was measuring, i'd start w/ one. it wasn't for a while that i learned the correct way of measuring...i think as late as 4th grade!!
3. From i think about 6th grade to maybe the middle of freshman year of highschool i was really depressed. i used to think about suicide, and wonder what life w/o me would be. I was so angry/sad/lonely especially in Middle school, i hated it, my mom didn't understand me i couldn't approach her with anything, we'd always be arguing. I had very low self esteem, i was always being called ugly, fat, and joto, maricon, fag, fairy, homo, etc. my aunt on my dad's side and his mom, (even cousins of his to which i'm not really related) and some of the family on my mom's side would say, "oh well he's growing, he'll stretch out, (meaning i wouldn't be fat anymore). My mom would sometimes stand up for me to my dad (they were divorced). and my dad was so strict i was spanked for not finishing my lunch. well all this was building up behind me, and although i had some friends, they were ALWAYS; since elem. school primarily girls, (i'd be teased about that too) i didn't really have friends; i was a loner with friends..get it? well my mom found a note talking about a guy i liked and since then has been very apprehensive about me hanging out w/ him. she cannot have a gay son, she said it was a phase...so needless to say i'm not out to her, and maybe never will be. so all of this, coupled w/ hormones, i wanted to kill myself. and i think i even had a razor once, but i wussed out. i hated myself, and i couldn't stand to be me. but then i started becoming more comfortable w/ myself, and learning to love myself and opening up more. and i looooooved high school so much! I'm so happy now, i love my life, and my family and friends. i'm glad i didn't end my life...thanks smartypantsnyc none of my friends, especially my best friend knew that about me.