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lostinelpaso
lostinelpaso
john
Mon, Aug. 15th, 2005 05:31 pm
ATTN: POPQUEER, XNIXCKX, CRAZYMEOW, POPQUEER, XNIXCKX, CRAZYMEOW, POPQUEER, XNIXCKX, CRAZYMEOW

tagged by smartypantsnyc 3 random facts about myself:

1.  I really hate bug, I mean REALLY hate bugs. The ones i cannot for the life of me stand are Cockroaches. It's really weird, when i was younger i used to be fascinated by bugs, and would play w/ beetles, and things of that sort. but when i see a big bug, or a roach, or spider, I really want to die. my heart starts racing, and i can't control my breathing.

2. When i was in the first grade, and we were learning how to use a ruler, i COULD NOT grasp the concept of starting w/ zero. we didn't start counting from zero, we started counting from one, so when i measured, the edge of whatever i was measuring, i'd start w/ one. it wasn't for a while that i learned the correct way of measuring...i think as late as 4th grade!!

3. From i think about 6th grade to maybe the middle of freshman year of highschool i was really depressed. i used to think about suicide, and wonder what life w/o me would be. I was so angry/sad/lonely especially in Middle school, i hated it, my mom didn't understand me i couldn't approach her with anything, we'd always be arguing. I had very low self esteem, i was always being called ugly, fat, and joto, maricon, fag, fairy, homo, etc. my aunt on my dad's side and his mom, (even cousins of his to which i'm not really related) and some of the family on my mom's side would say, "oh well he's growing, he'll stretch out, (meaning i wouldn't be fat anymore). My mom would sometimes stand up for me to my dad (they were divorced). and my dad was so strict i was spanked for not finishing my lunch. well all this was building up behind me, and although i had some friends, they were ALWAYS; since elem. school primarily girls, (i'd be teased about that too) i didn't really have friends; i was a loner with friends..get it? well my mom found a note talking about a guy i liked and since then has been very apprehensive about me hanging out w/ him. she cannot have a gay son, she said it was a phase...so needless to say i'm not out to her, and maybe never will be. so all of this, coupled w/ hormones, i wanted to kill myself. and i think i even had a razor once, but i wussed out. i hated myself, and i couldn't stand to be me. but then i started becoming more comfortable w/ myself, and learning to love myself and opening up more. and i looooooved high school so much! I'm so happy now, i love my life, and my family and friends. i'm glad i didn't end my life...thanks smartypantsnyc none of my friends, especially my best friend knew that about me.

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popqueer

xnixckx

crazymeow


Current Mood: curious curious
Current Music: rock me amadeus--falco

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popqueer
popqueer
popqueer
Mon, Aug. 15th, 2005 08:21 pm (UTC)
my story

OMG my name is on here twice! Moving on. The only bugs I hate are mosquitos because they freakin' hurt. Sadly, when I was younger, my family was really poor and the house we lived in was infested with roaches. They were eveywhere; in cereal boxes, in the coffee-maker, in the fridge, etc. and we still had to eat and drink from those because we had nothing else. My middle school years were also excruciatingly depressing. My ordeal began in 7th grade when everyone suddenly stopped wanting to talk to me. It was suspected that I was a fag even though I didn't know what that meant. I knew I liked boys and kids noticed me staring at them when they'd play basketball. I was a loner pretty much until the end of high school. Nobody in my family understood why but I couldn't come out just then. My dad had become a "born again" Catholic whereas before he never went to church. This created an even bigger problem for me. I was also called names mostly in Spanish since I grew up in central. That's probably why I dislike Mexican Spanish so much because I still associate it with those awful things I was called. Even worse, I was sent to a Catholic school my sophomore year because in 8th grade I was almost raped in the boys locker room and the whole school had found out. In Catholic school we were taught to pray really hard whenever we had "unnatural" feelings and that it was wrong and disgusting to be a homosexual. And of course there were the suicide attempts with pills and alcohol. During my junior year, there was a turn of events. A car accident made me miss 2 weeks of school. Nobody in school really cared because they saw me as too liberal anyway. I was on the verge of failure. Before I would be forced to repeat 11th grade, I made a promise to myself that I would bust my ass and pass every single class then go back to my old high school because I was so unhappy there. I still remember that wonderful moment when the headmaster was giving out our final grades and told me "well David, you certainly picked up your grades in the end and we hope to see you back next year" and I replied "thanks but you won't." When I returned to my original high school for my senior year, everyone who made fun of me had dropped out and it actually turned out to be the best year of my life. I made all A honor roll. I gradually started to come out 4 years later after I fully accepted myself and before I graduated college. It's been such a relief not having to pretend to be something I'm not. A lot of the people I came out to had some idea I was gay. For a few, it came as a complete shock. A lot has changed since then. My family has accepted me for being who I am even my dad since he's exploring eastern religions now. I have converted to Wicca which sees gay and straight as equal and perfectly normal. And even though I don't really appear gay, if someone were to to ask me, I don't lie anymore.


ReplyThread
popqueer
popqueer
popqueer
Mon, Aug. 15th, 2005 08:38 pm (UTC)
3 facts

1. I'm left-handed
2. I'm a Capricorn.
3. I drive a manual transmission.

There! Short and sweet.


ReplyThread Parent
andytuba
andytuba
DeepVoice McWeirdyBeard
Fri, Aug. 19th, 2005 12:34 am (UTC)
totally off topic

damn, you integrated <marquee> into your userinfo fast.

that's a kickin <lj-cut> icon, by the way.


ReplyThread
lostinelpaso
lostinelpaso
john
Fri, Aug. 19th, 2005 12:39 am (UTC)
Re: totally off topic

wait, i dont understand what you meant...


ReplyThread Parent
andytuba
andytuba
DeepVoice McWeirdyBeard
Fri, Aug. 19th, 2005 12:49 am (UTC)
Re: totally off topic

so you asked _mathlete about the marquee thingie and then I go look in your userinfo and it's like WHOA MARQUEE PICS!


ReplyThread Parent
lostinelpaso
lostinelpaso
john
Fri, Aug. 19th, 2005 12:52 am (UTC)
Re: totally off topic

OOOOOOOOH THAT! no, i already knew how to do the regular marquee, i wanted to know how to do it all fast style like his...


ReplyThread Parent
andytuba
andytuba
DeepVoice McWeirdyBeard
Fri, Aug. 19th, 2005 12:59 am (UTC)
Re: totally off topic

Regular marquees are boring =p

_mathlete's a she, by the way, although people mistake her for a guy all the time on the phone (just typed fun - I think it's getting too late) cause she's an alto like a bass.


ReplyThread Parent

(Anonymous)
Fri, Aug. 19th, 2005 01:03 am (UTC)
Re: totally off topic

oh haha ok i c, yeah some altos...lol but i'm a tenor, although i should've been a baritone!! i dont know what my choir teacher thought!


ReplyThread Parent
andytuba
andytuba
DeepVoice McWeirdyBeard
Fri, Aug. 19th, 2005 01:09 am (UTC)
Re: totally off topic

At least you didn't try to penetrate the bass line. We always got annoyed at the bari-tenors who tried to ply their way down below the staff when it obviously wasn't happening.

Albeit, we would have appreciated a little more music that deigned to reach that low. Damn Level 3 high school choral arrangements.


ReplyThread Parent
lostinelpaso
lostinelpaso
john
Fri, Aug. 19th, 2005 01:20 am (UTC)
Re: totally off topic

yeah, well i could sing bass, and we always had music for all, well, altos usually got gypped...HAHA brown eyes!! but yeah


ReplyThread Parent
andytuba
andytuba
DeepVoice McWeirdyBeard
Fri, Aug. 19th, 2005 01:24 am (UTC)
Re: totally off topic

Try the bassline to Outkast's "I Like the Way You Move"
god damn that's fun to sing.


ReplyThread Parent